the time when you realize all of your surroundings are living things, such as humans and animals. You know they all have this majestic organ called heart. The heart is a home of some things that not all the living things could understand, but they all have it. Some things that are so cruel, sweet, pure, dirty and lust.
A cry, the way you show the world how much pain you save all of this time.
A laugh, its just when your lips start to stretch in a beautiful way and noises sounding from your throat make its way out of your mouth
A yell, youre standing on top of a hills, having all your energy on your vocal chord and scream until all of your sorrow echoes in the dark grey sky
A whisper, the time is when you cant say your thoughts that loud, and you dont have anybody by your side, you murmur to yourself as if someone is listening to your skeptical minds
And Im the happiest of sad people.
Its better for me, to write it on my wrecked journal, than talk and talk and talk like im good at talking at all. The fact that i think i know better how to handle so much things at once makes me feel like im the happiest of sad people. About family, where love should be given to all of the surroundings inside the house, i feel it too. Sometimes. This is not the old time, this is present. And im trying to act like i love the present, even the old time was so much better. Drama free.
Sorry, i throw the word SORRY like its a fucking worthless rock at the street. Im not wrong, i dont even do that, its not even my fault but still, i say sorry. Just to see anyone care. Some people say its okay, some say what are you always say sorry, youre weird. But thats okay, we are all born to be weird. Accept the weirdness of your soul.
when you throw a trash at me, i will kindly pick it up and put it in the garbage. People hurt me in several ways, and i answer their act in the same way. Polite, girl. Dont hurt a bug even if they sting and make you all swollen. Be kind even your self is fucked up inside.
I make people laugh sometimes, but people make me cry all the time. The closest are the worst. Cant even keep their mouths shut after i helped them with anything. This is fact, no bullshit just like your words. I slowly know, and i finally open my mind that thats what people do to me all of this time. And oh what a girl, such a lose. I keep doing that.
Making the one i know happy is all i want in my life. My life is not about me anymore, its about the world. About how i make them cheer in joy. Even when im all worn out, Im the happiest when i see them smile.
And thats what makes me the happiest of sad people.
